The Funniest Thing You'll Read This Week

This is one hell of a catch by our pal Jer. It's an open letter delivered via the Palm Springs Desert Sun written by Jack Abramoff's father. As Jer says...Ri-i-i-ight - it was CLOONEY who besmirched the precious Abramoff name.

Read it and just bask in the outrage. Freaking hysterical.

Oh how far Hollywood has fallen. When you rose to accept the Golden Globes best actor award earlier this week, you decided to take a gratuitous slap at my son, my family and even my dear departed father. Is this the tradition of Gable, Bogart, Pacino and Burton? Are you the heir to the dignity and greatness of Hollywood’s past, or more likely a portent to a depressing and horrific future?

Your glib and ridiculous attack on my son, Jack, coupled with your obscene query as to the choice his mother and I made in naming him brought shame and dishonor on you and your profession. What drove you to this lapse in lucidity, I can never know, but you need to know that your words were deeply hurtful to many innocent and decent people — who love my son and who cherish our family.

We have had to endure two years of unmitigated, outrageous falsehood directed at my son and his record of achievement on behalf of his clients and friends. The blood thirsty media, guilty of untold character assassinations during contemporary times, have even outdone themselves in their lust to create a cartoon which does not come close to resembling this fine man, my son.

The fact that you would spend those few moments accorded to you, as an honor for your work as an actor, bashing his name and his family, is astonishing. How do you sleep at night, other than, perhaps with the drink which you lamented not having at that early hour. Funny, it was very hard for us little people in television land to tell whether you had indulged in the bottle or not.

My son was named after my beloved departed father. His name, too, was Jack Abramoff. And, were he alive today, would be standing firmly behind his namesake, as his entire family and many more true friends than you will ever know.

Not that it matters to you, I am sure, but the worst part of your tirade is that it played out in front of many young people, including my sweet 12-year-old granddaughter, one of Jack’s five children. Jack did not waste his time watching the garbage spewing from your mouth, but his daughter did. You drove her to a fit of tears. Are you proud of that?

For four generations, our family has worked hard to serve this country we love. I enlisted as a young man of seventeen into the United States Navy, so I could serve my nation in WWII. My brother did the same, and we both served in South Pacific. My son dedicated his life to patriotic and religious causes, which have made this nation great. He gave unsparingly of his time and resources to help those in need.

You spend your days ridiculing our nation and our traditions. You mock those who serve our nation and its flag. You revile my son and publicly try to humiliate him in front of a national audience. I have news for you George Clooney — one day the truth about my son will come out and there will be a lot of people in your industry and others lined up to apologize for their efforts to destroy him and our family. You won’t be in that line, though, be cause the plague of arrogance and falsehood will surely continue to blind your eyes and cause your tongue to disgrace the parents who brought you onto the earth.

One wonders how your father would respond, were the roles reversed. One wonders whether your children would delight in someone lampooning your name and besmirching your reputation. You have brought yourself to a low unparalleled by the greats of your profession. Shame on you.

FRANK ABRAMOFF
Rancho Mirage, CA

Comments

[Arthur Riddick]

What a Frankoff...

[TOM Tucson AZ]

I don’t know how George Clooneys dad would respond if the tables were turned BUT MY dad would have said "Dam he let you off easy, oh and don’t let the cell door hit you in the ass you thieving bastard"

[rhoda]

tsk, tsk.

[Ben of NoHo]

His daughter cried. Not her fault what Daddy did.

But, how many diversions of funds, how much money influence peddling led to the DEATH of our soldiers and the tears of THEIR loved ones. Sorry about them tears, sweetie, but the tears of a parent, sibling or friend who has lost someone because of your father's actions are at least a couple million times more important than your damp cheeks.

P.S. Get used to crying. Your dad's a scumbag and he's going down. No fault of yours, but I'd take a tip from Charles Durning in "Best Little Whorehouse in Texas," and do a little sidestep, if I were you.

[Allan One]

There's just something inherently funny about somebody exclaiming, "I have news for you, George Clooney!"

[legadillo]

Sounds like Daddy Abramoff has been making excuses for his son's behavior for a long time. Explains a lot.

[FearTheSpankingMachine:)]

tsk tsk Dad hates to watch his big bad rethuglican gangster son being made to crawl through the Spanking Machine.

[Carl]

What a puss.

Memo to Frank: Everybody has to take some. If you can't get THAT through your head,then go to the corner,suck your thumb and cry like a little baby. Because that's what you little letter sounds like.

[Carl]

What a puss.

Memo to Frank: Everybody has to take some. If you can't get THAT through your head,then go to the corner,suck your thumb and cry like a little baby. Because that's what your little letter sounds like-a massive pity party.

Apologies for the double post...my bad!

[Steve]

Aw, geez. He's an old guy in heaven's waiting room, Rancho Mirage, and he's in a crappy mood because it's a non-stop shamefest because of his son.

So he's standing up for the twerp. He's being a Dad.

He wouldn't be reciting his own service record if he weren't desperate to say something that gives him the necessary standing to get all Zell Miller about what was, a sophomoric joke at a party-atmosphere awards dinner.

He says, "...one day the truth about my son will come out and there will be a lot of people in your industry and others lined up to apologize for their efforts to destroy him and our family..." He's gonna be waiting forever for that day.

[otwingnut]

yoo can't insult me, I have a niece/nephew/third cousin twice removed/ in irak!! Yoo must hate our troops!! traitor coward!! You want us to lose!!11 its lieberals faults!1

[yk]

Yup, dear Daddy. You are so proud of your son, who is taking money from the poor, giving to the rich, and in the meantime, stuffing his own coat with it. What a proud dad you must be! Why don't start teaching your son what it means to be a good citizen before you go off babling about what a great son he has been, you lousy bastard. Hardworking people who pay their taxes and have trouble earning a decent wage and in keeping their jobs, are happy to know that spoiled rich bastards like your son are robbing them blind by turning this country upside down and selling it off piece by piece to the highest bidder. What a great treasure your son has been in this holier-than-thou BULLSHIT!!!

[C.P.T.L.]

Clooney's comments were silly. He could have used the opportunity to say something more meaningful or to make a better joke. Mr. Abramoff raised a son with no moral compass. Who knows to what extent it is his fault. Jack Abramoff is a grown man and made his own decisions. I suspect, as legadillo says, that "Daddy Abramoff has been making excuses for his son's behavior for a long time."

[Daughter of Viet Vet]

To criticize the son once is to criticize the father many times. Big Daddy can't stand that someone called His Little Felon out on his crimes. The fact that Big Daddy can blame Liberal Hollywood with puffery of righteous indignation is all the better. HOLLYWOOD IS THE PROBLEM HERE, PEOPLE! It's NOT the corruption that makes the Potomac a sewer. It's THOSE LIBERAL HOLLYWOOD TYPES, like MICHAEL MOORE, who make the terrorists win by pointing out the crimes and corruption.

What a fucking disgrace this man is. Ever watch "American Justice," "City Confidential," or any of the Court TV shows chronicling criminal cases? There is almost always someone weeping and tearing their clothes at the "injustice" being inflicted upon the rapist/murderer/arsonist. Remember, Ted Bundy's mother wept all through his trials, even when it was conclusively proven that his final victim was a little 12-year-old girl named Kimberly Diane Leach. Bundy's mother sobbed as the testimony was given that Kim was kidnapped, driven to a remote location, stipped, hogtied, and raped and sodomized repeatedly. Bundy then slit her throat from ear-to-ear, much like one would slaughter a pig. He even left little Kim in an abandoned hog shed to decompose. All throughout, Bundy's mother cried...not for little Kimberly Diane, but for Her Wonderful Son, being "crucified" by the Florida Court.

Congratulations, Big Daddy. You're in terrific company.

[Ben of NoHo]

What DVV said.

[Ima Republican!]

Another old bedwetter.

Abramoff's father is an idiot for bringing his grand daughter into the discussion.
He is using a 12 year old, who, of course, is not involved, as a prop!

So who is sick in the head?