How The Other Side Works: The NRA

Here's an interesting piece of business which someone sent over to us. Seems the NRA wants to pre-produce an introduction to NRA VP Wayne LaPierre (left of Cheney in this famous pic) at their upcoming annual convention. So they sought out voiceover talent in NYC, L.A., Chicago, and perhaps elsewhere to audition for the narration.

There are three pages which follow the continuance. The first is the "spec" or the voice specification...the direction. The other two pages are the actual script. It's written for video - the left column describes the visuals, the right side is the voiceover they will sync to.

We'll offer these without comment - we'd like to hear yours.

We can tell you that all reports indicate that at least over half of the voice actors this was presented to refused to audition for it - and that's a very (ahem) conservative estimate.

Ready?

Comments

[vicki]

Churning skies! Coming fury! Towering wave! Yikes!

Looking forward to the re-writes.

[terri]

What got Heston? Armed gangs or Alzheimer's Disease? Come to think of it, Reagan was attacked by Alzheimer's too.

Gosh, sure a good thing they were able to defend themselves, eh?

[Scott R. WI]

More scary than all of this is the sheer number of zealots that gobble this stuff up with joy. Let the brainwashing begin!

[Stitch]

"As billionaires buy the laws and lawmakers they want..."
Does that include the gun manufacturers?

[donna]

Hell, the NRA can have their damn guns, just give up the schmalz.

And I'm still tossing the hubby's "American Rifleman" mags and the gun porn that comes in the mail. It's disgusting.

[BenofNoHo]

So, the Constitutional rights we've already lost mean nothing? And don't they realize the billionaires and their lawyers have all come from their side? Sheesh.

On a positive note, the landslide has begun. Rethugs falling to the right of me! Rethugs falling to the left of me! And maybe a Shrub will spontaneously ignite!

Libby, you were but the first.

[Gun-shy]

End the NRA through sanity. Support an alternative. The following are quotes from an article in The Washington Monthly.

"The NRA has between 3 and 4 million members. But there are between 77 and 90 million total gun-owners in the United States, according to varying industry estimates.

Of that total, 30 percent of gun-owners said they would support an alternative organization..."

http://www.washingtonmonthly.com/archives/individual/2006_06/009030.php

[Veritas78]

I recommend Ted Haggard for the voice-over. He scared all those kids in "Jesus Camp," he's scared millions since then, plus I think he's looking for work.

[Deadeye Dick Cheney]

That's right in line with the "Freedom in Peril" scare comic book that the NRA initially denied was their work. Same themes, same fear-mongering. Here's a link to it: http://tinyurl.com/w2cly (it's an Adobe Acrobat file)

[predatory_pray in LA, CA]

I am a VO talent in LA. If I told you what I had done in the past year you would recognize my work, but under the circumstances, just take my word for it. My agent wanted to send me on this audition, and after reading it I commented to her that if she wished to remain my agent, she will NEVER ask me to audition for an organization such as the NRA.

We have now parted ways and I have signed with a much larger and more progressive agency.

[Cuthbert]

I got it. Has anyone shown this to Gilbert Godfrey? It'd be hillarious. I'm a gun owner and like my 2nd amendment rights, but the NRA scares the peanut butter out of me.

Why doesn't NRA just come out and admit it....they are the top tier of the KKK!

Let's just say when these guys get scared they start to shoot. They are implying a civil war here in the US in which they will not surreneder or be overwhelmed, they'll just kill somebody to keep their cold-rotting hands, or what-ever that cryogenically frozen/demi-gun-god Heston said.

If these people were half concerned about the other parts of the constitution that have been attacked as they are about their bullets we may have had an impeachment by now. Peace.

[C.P.T.L.]

So little trouble do men take in the search after truth; so readily do they accept what first comes to hand.

-Thucydides

[Jimmy, Boston]

The second admendment is the only one left of the original 10 that still hasn't been completly shattered. I can see you fools will take care of that....real soon.

"out of my cold dead hand!"

[scarlet p.]

Paul Lynde. Paul Lynde would've been perfect for the job.

Other than Cheney, has anyone else in the famous photo shot another human being? Just wonderin'.

[Tommy Two Teeth]

Hey Jimmy Boston - what do you mean? I don't understand your comments. Can you clarify?

[bartkid]

>We're looking for a mature, male VO to narrate

I recommend the person who does the voice of the southern gentlemen who subscribes to the newspaper Chris delivers on Family Guy.

[Wayne]

Tommy...I think he was talking to the NRA. And he's right. The entire constitution has been gutted, except the second amendment. Funny how that worked out.

[ziply fm tennessee]

I'm a gun-toting leftist who quit the NRA in 1981 because they could not be convinced to spend their millions advocating for gun safety, laws requiring parents to keep guns out of kids' reach, teaching kids how to safely handle guns so they don't kill anybody when their f-ing stupid parents leave them lying around, advocating low-cost licensing for prospective gun owners, cleaning up the handful of firearms dealers who sell the vast preponderance of guns used in crimes in the U.S., but no; the Rich Right-Wing White-Boys' Gun Club Of Amurrica could not concern itself with such earthly matters. The one good thing, as a commentor noted above, is that the NRA has kept the 2nd Amendment just about the most intact amendment except for the repeal of prohibition and presidential term limits. If only the ACLU could boast as much about the 1st, 4th, 5th, 6th, and 14th amendments.

[JC NYC]

Elmer Fudd would be great, and he's a role model for much of the NRA.
I'm a a lefty and a big fan of the Second Amendment, especially now; I suspect that if this country weren't armed to the teeth, the Bushies would have already lunged for martial law. One again, the Founding Dads were genius in their foresight. As for the scaremongering, well, sometimes a shotgun isn't just a shotgun.

Let's remember, especially in light of Bush's own army--Black Water, that one of the big reasons our forebears wanted the right (no pun) to bear arms was to help protect the citizenry from its own government. I totally disrespect the NRA, but I am going to have some guns put away for the day the government, under someone like Bush (or Bush himself), decides to take away all of my rights and become the Big Brother I never wanted. If they want to see someone who will fight for the rights of an American, just let them come and start putting bugs on my phone and tell me I can't make any statement I want, either in person or on the net. I promise them I do not have an exit strategy except when they kill me--as they would really like to do as I do not buy into their foolish idea of patriotism.

Wow, could this imagery possibly get any more biblical?

[michael anthony]

I am a liberal democrat who supports the second amendment right for law abiding, private individuals to keep and bear arms. No right is limitless. Free speech does not include the right to yell fire in a crowded theater when there is no fire. I support mandatory safety training and licensing for those who would carry or possess in or out of their home a concealed weapon. I would not register firearms because that will surly lead to confiscation. The founders reserved the second amendment right, to the "people" so that they could retain the ability to revolt against a tyrannical regime. I believe that as citizens we must exhaust all alternatives to violence before using force to restore the constitution. Armed resistance should never be the first or the second choice it is the last choice. It is conscionable only after all political means have failed AND when your children are dis-appeared without a trace, and when habeas corpus is abridged, and newspapers are gagged, and private property is confiscated for speaking out against government policy and those who speak are jailed or punished by the government, and one religion or another is forced down your throat, and we loose the right to a public trial by jury, and evidence obtained by torture is admissible in a court of law. You may not like guns, and that’s ok, but you should fear the government that fears your right to posses a firearm. Over three times the number of people died last year from medical mal-practice than died from the legal and illegal firearm related deaths in our country including suicide. Think about it.